The name of groundhog day might need to be explained, for those of you who are not or have not been in this type of situation.

Each day is always different for both mom and dad. Each day is the always the same for me. I go through the same scenarios daily. Mom asks the same questions I answered yesterday, and seems so surprised to hear it all over. Dad has a very limited routine, deviations are almost catastrophic to him. I have to toe a very tight line to keep him on an even keel. At the same time, I never know what is going to come up between the two of them. Today, Mom found money in the living room chair where Dad usually sits. She showed it to him, and he grabbed it and took it from her. At which point, she reverted to her typical selfish and childish attitude, yelling that it was hers, she was entitled to her share of Social Security. Of course, she can't hear him talk to her, and he doesn't understand what she says to him. I, as always, try to referee them out of the conflict, to no avail. It seems of no consequence that she is never dressed or leaves the house to spend money, and that it must be his because that is where he sits. Boy oh boy, did I get in trouble for "taking up for him." Although this is a typical case, it is about something different every time, something that completely baffles my senses. I ended up walking away as usual, with at least some diffusion between them due to my intervention. These little interruptions in my work day exhaust me. I go back to the computer feeling confused, overwhelmed, and just tired.

The repetition of these things is what bothers me. The different things that come up are what confuse me. Anxiety is a constant companion. I have found Mom in her bed puffing on her nebulizer, when no medicine was put into it. Dad will fall asleep in the rolling kitchen chair, no telling when he will end up on the floor. Mother goes through the kitchen cabinets, taking things out to look at them, then walk away. Each night when I finish my 8 hours of transcription, I wind up in the kitchen cleaning up after them. I find all sorts of surprises that await me. I daily have to clean the toilet seat because Mom has made a mess. She goes in her diaper, and then goes to sit on the toilet and sits with a mess all over her bottom. Which usually ends up on the floor, too. Sounds trivial, I know, but for a woman who did not raise a large family, I am not used to working late into the night at housework.

The things that come up daily are very defeating. Finding the remote control. Looking for hearing aids (which are now lost forever). Explaining how the phone works, and then having to check it each time I go into the kitchen to make sure it is not off the hook, or lost. Explaining monthly statements that come in the mail, because even if I explained it yesterday, they would not remember.

I have realized that I cannot get out of this. This is what it is. As long as they live at home, it is going to be this way for me. Someone told me that at least there is light at the end of the tunnel. I replied, "But how long is the freakin tunnel?" No answer there.